How to Comfort Someone Who Lost a Parent

Speaking with someone who lost a parent can be emotional – and at times difficult. Use these tips to be show your compassion and know what to say in a genuine way.

Go Easy On Yourself

When someone close to you loses a parent, you might feel like you are at a loss for words yourself. You want to say the perfect thing that will give your loved one exactly what they need to get through this tough time.

However, it’s important to remember that there is no perfect way to comfort someone in this situation. The best thing for you to say is whatever feels right and offers support to the person you care about. Don’t let the fear of having the perfect words stop you from reaching out.

Lend a Helping Hand

Grieving the loss of a loved one can take up a lot of mental and emotional resources. Making final arrangements and managing one’s emotions can leave people feeling fatigued.

When you express your condolences for someone’s loss after their parent has passed, you can also offer to help in practical ways. Nothing is too big or too small to make a difference, just lend a helping hand with whatever is within your bandwidth. For example, you can offer to bring them a meal, pick up some groceries for them while you are at the store, or even look after their kids or pets for a day to give them a chance to relax.

Check-In With them

After you offer your condolences, it’s important to continue to check in with your loved one. Planning memorial services and sitting with their emotions is a lot for anyone to handle after a parent’s death.

The person might say that they are doing fine when you first check-in, but their emotions could change and they might need someone to talk to after all. Checking in can be as simple as sending a text that says “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. How are you doing today?” or calling the person and asking the same questions.

Don’t Be Discouraged if They Don’t Reply

Your friend or family member will most likely be receiving several texts and calls from others sharing their condolences. It can be overwhelming to receive so many messages, let alone to reply to them. If you don’t hear back right away, know that it’s not your fault and that you didn’t do anything wrong.

Reach Out in Whatever Way Feels Best

There are many different ways to comfort someone when their parent has passed away. You can send a text message, mail them a card, call them on the phone, or visit them in person. Find a way that works for you and your relationship. And, you can even reach out in more than one way if to help with grief.

For example, you can a message to your loved one as soon as you hear the news, then call them later in the evening when they have had some alone time. Or, you can call them on the phone and then send a card later in the week.

If you are thinking about stopping by in person, be sure to ask if it’s okay beforehand. Your loved one might not be ready to have visitors just yet. You can still drop off a meal or card on their doorstep and then call or text them afterward to let them know that you left something special.

Choosing the Right Words When Someone Loses a Parent

When it comes to the loss of a parent, each individual will have their own unique reaction. The reality is that knowing what to say to someone who has lost a parent is never easy. It can be a painful, emotional time for anyone, regardless of the circumstances. Whether it’s a friend whose mom or dad died, a co-worker or acquaintance grieving a parent’s death, or a cousin or other family member dealing with the heartbreak of losing a mother or father, you can reach out in an empathetic and thoughtful way to show your support.